Nocturne ,Number 1 ,Opus 9
I remember the scent of the very first woman that
held me
Her sighs were perfumed with boundless affection
,and the Toab thrown on her warm shoulder smelt like a mix of Acacia and baby
powder
I remember the grin on my dad's obscure face when
he held me tight as I got my ears pierced
And I remember him teaching me how to read when I
was four
Singing in a melodic voice while tracing the vague
letters
"Hal Tamorro Be Daeqaten Maleyaten Ya Joha~"
(Do you need to borrow money, Joha ?)
I remember the smell of Sesame candy mom used to
make when we were home alone
How it burnt my fingers when i'd sneak to taste one
before lunch
I remember how I felt tenderness slowly seeping
through the pores of my heart replacing the stains of resentment towards my new
born sister
When she extended her hands from her crib with a
smile drooling innocence and trust
I remember how we assembled a kite and flew it together,
when she got a bit older
She , barely supporting our treasure and I
Running barefoot on the path that became now a
school driveway
I remember when i would wait for the bakery guy
with missing front teeth coming after prayer bearing the wonders from Sugar
Land
When it used to rain for a week at length and the
low field in our hood would fill to the brim we could sail on a rubber boat to
reach for the candy shop around the corner
I remember when I struggled to keep my balance on a
bicycle to the fading rhythm of my father's cheers
Thinking that he was pushing me the whole time, as
i pressed further
I remember the exhilaration of triumph that
diverted me from looking back to see if he was there
He wasn't
I remember how I met my very first friend while
standing in row for Art class
How my two Arabic teachers would argue on where I
should situate the circle of the letter "م" Above or under the line
I remember when i stood in awe facing a grand book
shelf for the first time, and my dad walking over and handing me Flowers For
Mrs Harris
I remember when i received my first flower
And my first crush on an older classmate
My first attempt at cooking and the miserably
ruined pan that mom didn't throw away
I remember when I found God
And when i was told that I was "destined for
great things"
How I looked for my parents in a sea of hundreds in
a standing ovation
When I got my first excellence certification
I remember The Bachelorettes Karak nights
at the dorms and the scrawny dinners
Sitting ,knee-bent ,on a rug because we were too
broke to buy a dining set
The beach talks in warm nights, laying on the soft
grains, light in color and weight like our dreams
And hearts
I remember when i was first called beautiful by a
stranger
And when i thought that I found my lost soul mate
The first time i got my heart broken, and the first
time I felt utterly lost in the turbulent blue of despair when I vehemently
attempted to swim against the flow
But started to drown
Deeper
And deeper
Looking at that savior straw bobbing
beneath the glow of the sun
I remember the chill of throe in my heart when i
was still ablaze and alive
As I vividly remember the first time when I
realized how strong I really was
How I could handle any blow with grace, how my
mother's lap was my safe haven
And the warm ,warm smile on her face
Was my true savior
When I look back, I see a life well-spent already
I see diamonds scattered in the skies of my memory
Glittering blisters of joy people dust under the rug because
they are too old to be worn
But I gathered my precious stones and shall keep them
close to my heart
When I look back, it doesn't matter what lies ahead
anymore
See, they might be small, the blocks we are made of
But they are what makes us whole
