There was a moment of clarity
When I realized that I was not wanted
As much as I wanted
Indignant, I never got my notice
People don't fight with words anymore
They just pack in silence
No one recalls with awe
The wars that were killed off
Before they killed anyone
Ever wondered what happens to the balloon
When it lets go of the twig
And floats to the sky
BOOM,
What a shame; no one gets to hear it, that final cry
I recoil to my sweet stupor of carelessness
Assumed
Not so much dismay, as I'd have wished
A knot was undone, I was let go,
And so I've run
It is an obvious lie, I tell myself
That's still truer than truth
All these thespian lines that take on the face
Of supercilious mockery, a mask
Beneath a mask
Of changing landscapes
I never tell lies, even when I do
The heart feels lighter, indeed
And the sun, as you might expect, still shines, brighter
I have gotten through my day
Though sleepless, as I lay, at the darkest hours
I've made peace with the fact that I abscond
When push comes to shove, and
These bonds ,of friendship and love, that I made
Intricate, and frail, are akin to spiderwebs
They take a long time to be
And yet a few whiffs to flail apart
You know, sometimes I think I am healed
From being
And sometimes, a few days a year
When it's too quiet and the clouds are cross
I'm slapped into remembrance: a few maladies
Of the heart
Don't go away with old age
Time teaches you how to make homes
Instead of blanket tents and sand castles
Somewhere to hide, where no one could find you
When reality is not being so kind
And the child remains asleep, somewhere, tucked in the deep
They never wake up, until it's time to pack
Again
And mine seems to have a curious case
Of a Benjamin Button
Sometimes, when I get too cold
Having bared myself from truths that cower
Behind the broad backs of truthful lies
I yearn for a home that I wrecked with my own hands
He said, "He who must be born,
Must first destroy a world", and I did
My home was built inside the frame of a dusty painting
Hung on the pale wall of our living room
Considered the world, before I could remember much
Behind the blurry panes of that window
For days and nights, hid away from
A crowd of inquisitive gazes
Card board faces
Rogue shadows
Broken voices
A cold cup of tea to my side, and my palms never got numb
Carrying the weight of my resting wonders
And I wondered a lot
Why I never get disappointed
Though I try
These poems scream in high pitches of scorn
Laughing from the shadows, even I get torn
Between the submission to a trance
And the dread of it all
How comfortable in their bareness these words are
Mocking their creator
And you, you little green horn
You think you understand
You think there is a case in here
Stuck in the moving sand to my chin
Got your piercing nosiness under my skin
You think I'm broken
You think my unfaltering love is a token
You earn by nodding at the right pace
I could suck your soul dry
Kiss your lips in all the ardor I could summon
Then leave you to die
And I still wouldn't love you
At your deathbed
Because my bits are too precious
And I love them all
Too much to love another
And perhaps I buried them under the porch
In that house, my innocent
My blight
My willingness to fight
Someone pulled my hands and I lept into the world
People weren't made of cardboard
Anymore
Their sneers synced with their lips, at last
Their shadows didn't fight for space
And I have always tried to remember
How that house
Looked from the inside.
