الخميس، 4 يناير 2018

"Naze Da ?"



She said, why do you hug your mother
Thus
We will be back before the night
Falls  upon us and she misses you yet

Well,
Death isn't that courteous to wait

Until it's visiting hours
But that is not a line to be said
During such a pleasant day



I wanted to disappear

In a bleak term of my gauche youth, gentle spirit
But I
I was just a child
Didn't know what death smelt like
Before I ran out of tears for the first time
And learnt too late that the dead

Don't care for the whines and wrings

How could I be such an ingrate
Finding romance in eternal quietness
When to be alive turned out to be this sweet
Sweet
Though sour at some bites
I once knew a boy that lost his mother
He was her only son, the wings she didn't have
He used to yell on the phone that he won't be late
And to be left alone for he's out having fun
He's dead inside
Now
She passed away while
He was away
He
Hits the wall with his head, in a spasm
His kin stopped trying to understand
See, you can't kill regret by self laceration

He still jokes around and smokes just the same
But I could see a darkness dwelling between his brows
At odd times
And his smile is crooked it spills angst and wishes of death
Everywhere

He's gone
While still there

A shell of a person and plenty of white hairs
Marrows tired before their time, not a single care
Skin over bones, no rage
No sorrows

Infinite emptiness

Broken knows broken, see


I wanted to disappear

But I was just a child with mindful eyes
Felt too much when I felt too little
One's tragedy outweighs the world
When they haven't held another's
In their arms

How could I be so ungrateful
Running away from home
When it was everything that some broken spirit
Has ever prayed for
Somewhere
At some time
I stole love like I'd steal cookies
So many jars under my bed
An abysmal hole in my chest
And no stars were shining in my sky
Only darkness
A virgin candle in my hand

If you must know,
I hug my mother like it's the last time
Long after I've healed my brokenness
For all the motherless shadows of people
That gone out the door without hugging their mothers
For the last time.