Padre

He conjured half a joint
From a hideout in his
Spare tire, said that's how he
Used to cope with the cold nights and
Lonesome days ,and to
Puff the other way

For he had to drive us back
And my heart laughed because the
Grownup and the kid keep
Arguing like a divorced couple inside 

Of his head
We sung all the anime tracks
We could remember, even those
Older than my time that I watched
On VHS while my mum was in the
Kitchen making Sesame sweets
There was frost on the window panes
The rainbow would wink at me after

A day's streak of rain
I must've waited for years on that 

Musty couch for my brother to
Come back from school, afternoons

Felt like a long dream and only the burn

In my fingers would slap me awake when

I snuck to have some buns before they

Were ripe for the picking

Why did I think of that while

Cooped on the back
Of that truck, humming away the

Last years of my youth, letting go

Of some sighs I had left from my 

Latter disappointments
Why did the stars scintillate with such

Vigor even though they might have

Perished to dust right after

Why does the night sky feel

Both like the end and the beginning so 

Much that one is possessed by such

Despair and avarice twirling in their heart

A serpent devouring all that is bright

It's only in winter that such moments.

Feel infinite and death does not

Exist.

Letter to Atticus

There was a poem wriggling
On my tongue ever since you asked me
Why I would want this

I tripped too many a time to walk on
While keeping my head high, it almost feels
Like I'm burdened with the shame of
Knowing,
Unlike you,
Walking briskly through the webs of human
Connections, it's all ones and zeros
Blacks and whites
Rights and wrongs

It's true : I dread change like the plague

And the only moving I ever did was in the
Opposite direction of the wave, towards
My safest abode; my shivering self

But how did you figure me out so quick
When I spent this long cracking the code ?

Hey, do you remember the first time
You called my name? It sounded
So musical, like being cooed to
The right path on a moonless night
I digress a lot while talking to you because
I never know what you make of my silence,
An abundance of revelation seems to me
A lot safer; silence is a trickster, see
It tells everything while not saying much

I know what it's like to have
Too many emotions crowded in one's
Heart to think straight, but it seems
You are constantly trying to get your muddled mind
In order, that you never have the
Time to feel things right
And although your eyes shine with
A faint shade of sorrow, the creases of your face
Mark all the times you cared
Too deeply, scars that never faded, ones
You think make you look older than your time,
As you shave your face clean, trying to shuck
All the disappointments,
Were you trying to warn me from the heaviness that you
Feel now and wish you knew about before
You had your feet dug in too deep in the mud ?
You tell me to be bold when you can't
Heed your own advice, hidden in your
Personal island, nibbling on solitude and Would'ves
You tell me not to get invested when
Worry ate up your waistline,
Sucked at your wan bones
And made you forget how to ask
For help, can't you tell that I'm here because
Of you,
I shed my past life like the dead skin of a
Cocoon and I jumped into the rabbit hole,
For you,
I flew towards the scorching sun, not minding
The wide ocean underneath, for you

I gravitated towards you

Damned as I was, as if a firefly to the flames
To my glory,
For not all flames burn, lover,
Some of them

Make one Ultra.