Letter to Atticus II

In another life I loved you so very deeply
It was unbearable
Your apparition usurped my dreams and
Haunted my wake, you are
So beautiful in
Your sadness.

Demian

It takes courage to change, she
Said
Wreck everything on the way out
Of one's comfort zone.
I don't know who I should
Tell this, but every night before
I surrender to sleep, my shivering bones
Play the bass to the pace of
My muffled breath
"The Egg is the world", he wrought
He who must be born
Must first destroy.
I feel loneliness creep up
My spine as I'm told to conquer
This proverbial Troy
All walls and no Helen.
I wasn't born a winner, perhaps,
Hiding in the shadows of great
Men,
I forget that it was always
A woman that made them so.
I didn't ask for great things,
Mi amor, I'm the queen of
Small feats and whimsical
Endevours, that never see the light
You say that you are proud to
Know me, a line straight out of
A Steinbeck's novel, but I'm sorry
It wasn't my intention to shine
Brighter than my lover's eyes,
I'm just too scared of the dark that
I light the half burnt candles i
Burried
Between the ashes.
I was fine
Being unnoticed, I was fine
Before love, being light
Trapped inside cracked mirrors
And the crevices of a smiling
Figure of validation
Wasn't the egg snug enough
For a featherless bird to prosper ?
Can't I
Still grow in my own skin ?

Letter to The Crab X

Last Letter to The Crab

Feb 12th, 2018

One finds belonging in the
Most unexpected of places
This word sprung to my mind
The first time we
Met, and it still weaves poetry in
My head every time we do.
I have no vain inclinations to
Pursue what I cannot keep,
I just wish sometimes that things were
Different for us and I wonder
If you ever wished the same.
You are leaving, too, and I ran
Away to another continent because
I didn't want to say my farewells
I swallowed them, sour as they were,
Rotting on my tongue
I keep making the same mistake,
Trapping more fireflies in my blue
Lanterns when all I wanted was
A few moments of sweet homecoming.
You called me cruel, but knowing that
We are not lasting long, I pushed you
Away just to have a taste of your
Absence
How it will demolish me, how long
My days would seem normal before
Collapsing on the weaker side where
Your place has been.
I wonder if you, too, past all the jokes, miss me already
My portrait that you drew, you put
As your header
No caption
No explanations
No last words
An immaculate version of a woman that was
THE reason
A reason.
Hey,
You are as empty
As I am, deep inside, aren't you ?
You are as lost, and restless
Without a good conversation
And long moments of silence that
Don't stir one's comfort.
We sink, we sank in each
Other's cesspools of darkness and
Never asked questions
Because f** the answers.
Tell me,
If tomorrow day you woke up in a different place
At a different time and space, would you


Would you
Have wished to be a different person?