For You In Full Blossom IV

The Iron Lady

To the girl that walked about greeted like a queen, but flung by rotten tomatoes when she turned her back.

Quite honestly I've heard a lot about you before actually getting to know you. And trust me; you don't want me to repeat what I heard. Lucky for you, I made it my golden rule to never judge any individual based on anyone's opinion of them , and thanks to that i was able to know many great people throughout my life, people that were great in their own ways.

Females always have something to say about each other and they always make it their sport to find faults with every girl that is the center of attention.

And ,well, you were the Queen Bee among your friends.

I thought at some point that it's impressive to be so sociable and popular, having people to chat with at every table you sit at, until I heard what these same people say about you when you left.
That was horrifying in every way. It was (honestly) the first time I witnessed such a gruesome social behavior :
If you don't like a certain individual ,wouldn't it be the logical attitude to stay away from them ? you don't have to deal with someone you dislike. End of story. Why girls feel the need to pretend to be friends with someone they evidently can't bear with was confusingly beyond me.
I understand that in the real world there are hierarchical positions to abide by and connections to keep in order to survive; but in an social environment where there aren't any material benefits to gain from keeping good relations with a peer whatsoever, what would make anyone fake their feelings towards someone ?

It's because people need a place to fit in, and they need a person that gives them attention and make them feel accepted. 

Maybe your strong character made some girls feel the need to get along with you, to get your "approval" despite having issues with your attitude. I don't really know nor did i care honestly. It's because I was the neutral side in all this that I could see the ugliness of the entire scene : People smiling at your face ,then devouring your rotten flesh behind your back. I reached a point where I started to avoid most of the people in your circle whenever i could and I believe I showed it too much, more like in an a hateful way. i'm sorry about that but i was just too disgusted and done with your dramatic life and all the "rumors" and "plots" and the constant shocks in people and the crumbling of every meaning of the word "friendship" i learnt throughout my life.

Watching this soap opera reminded me that we are not in high school anymore ; the female population isn't gonna shun a girl because she's mean and conceited and a bully, she will be hated if she's pretty, attractive and charismatic and especially if she is opinionated and strikingly honest, even is she is a good person at heart. I think that's why you were disliked ,but no one came forward and told you that to your face because they know they had no right to hate you. Honesty should never be a vice. Never. You say the truth aggressively but regardless, truth is already ugly for those who don't want to hear it.

I'm really glad i didn't mind your rude attitude while dealing with you alone, though, because i realized that you have a really pure heart after getting to know you better. I was especially glad that you don't get offended when i treat you the same way, being honest with you and all, not bothering to choose my words. I just feel so comfortable while dealing with a straight-forward person because they would rather shoot a rude comment at me than trash me behind my back.

I must tell you that I'm able to be honest with people because I taught myself to be a self-reliant person; I need no one to provide moral support for me and make me feel "accepted". And because I don't need anyone I'm consequently not afraid of losing anyone by declaring my real views and feelings. I think people become able to bond better with each others when every one of them acts as a single atom that has the option of breaking on its own and joining different orbits at its free will. 

What I'm getting at is that the way you dealt with all that hatred was an interesting example.

What was special about you is that you knew the people around  you were two-faced, yet you held your chin high and walked about with confidence, receiving their poisonous arrows on your back proudly. You didn't surrender.

I used to act passively when I couldn't fit into a group; I had a few friends i could hang out with of course, but i didn't care to enforce my social presence and be part of any social entity...I just didn't care enough to be part of something, i guess, because I've always got my own thing going on, my own interests, my own sense of humor, my own values , my own meditations that not many people understood anyway.. And i didn't have to change for any one's sake...I thought it  Though I never thought of it this way : that I am being my own group, I'm being an atom, and atoms attract other atoms sooner or later. I've always thought I needed to work on that, but after meeting you, I came to believe that it is okay not to fit in.
It is okay not be liked. If you like yourself enough.