To You, Adorato

Let me tell you something
About my strange soul
About my fickle heart

And dreadful malady

My chest, it has a void
For a heart-a black hole
'tis abyssal, for the night
Clouded it in tyranny
And It feeds on affection,
Sentiments and passion
Tries to fill that hole
Without a spec of infamy

As I had an abundance

Of stolen emotions

The only choice I had

Was to feign my devotion
So I told my dear ones
How much I regard'em
How their avid love was
What's kept me around
But this 'love' I pledged,
It lacked all zest
And its bashful echoes
They didn't recur a sound
Though,"love you", I'd say
In vain joie de vivre
To the gracious souls
I met along my way
As their boundless affection
And unwarranted tenderness
I could in no other way
Adequately repay
Though I split my heart
Into frivolous pieces
And along I shouldered it
In a smart cyst
And,
To the ones that showered me
With love and care
I gifted my sentiments
Right and left
Though these feels are benign
And are almost sincere,
They never sent shivers
Down my spine
It is "love" alright,
But arduous it is not
Like the Alps and the Rhine
Were neighbors, but taut
So, to the one I adore,
My beloved Eugene
I say,
You may only live
In the dungeons of fiction
I waited for you, darling
In our secret tryst
But you left me expecting
Drenched in depression
This is not a reprimand
For standing me up
But,
Against my skittish reason,
T'is a verbal insurrection

O, the one I adore,

To whom my heart calls
The one I waited for
Holding a rose

I may never say "I love you"

Nor would I give you
A fragment of my heart
Like the rest of the beaus
For true love is lived
Not verbally conveyed
Bargained in a market
Of supply and demand
Love is not a rhyme
You can jot on command
It's a thousand jolly rainbows
You can hold in your hands
Love ,
Is mental buoyancy
Love is a state of mind
When your heart soars ,evading
The mind's supremacy
All of these sentiments
I've described piano
That's not how I felt before
And this is not a blunder
But I can only tell you
With absolute certainty
That
The pouch of hearts i'm carrying
Poses as a hamper
This feel they call "affection"
Maybe
It isn't worth the trouble
This ambiguous sentiment
Is making me dander
Stay, Eugene, my dearest
Can't you see at all
That my poor soul is
Trapped between an anvil
And an atrocious pestle ?
That this wretched loneliness
Is way beyond perpetual ?
And that you've been languid
In your grand arrival?

And can't you see that I am
Trying hard to buy
That this emptiness I feel
Awaits you to occupy?

I may have been awaiting

But really i'm convinced

That if you actually did come
You would've been dismissed
That's because deep down
At the bottom of my heart
I believe in all honesty
That you. Don't. Exist