الجمعة، 10 نوفمبر 2017

Muscle Memory

Today I've been feeling off
One of these moods
When nothing is wrong except your being stuck
In a reel, waiting for a fire to break out
So you could break away
It's humid outside, in bloody November
And I've got time till my cup grows cold
He said he was not dressed for the occasion
Dusty flip flops were on his feet and I smiled
Son, you carry yourself just fine
For a boy unprepared
I ran away, naturally
Stood at the door for a while to sign farewell
But nobody turned to look, regrettably
I left, without any good byes
It's become my kink
It's been really strange, all day
Never looked at the sky once
It still never rained, in bloody November
Been trying to call a few on the phone
But none gone through
I think I've been seeking help
For a scourge unknown, yet to befall me
And something was scratching inside
Had to plunge into the pits of slumber
So I ran as fast as I could

Oblivion is how I get through my rues

This feels familiar

Sometime ago, I wrote about it even
And I slept like a child, on a wet pillow
Woke up a new person, in a different place
In a different time, a whiff of a nightmare clinging to my lashes
Eternal sunshine on my spotless mind
What was it that made me want to delve
Towards a far deeper oblivion
On one foggy night, long forgotten ?
On another plane of existence perhaps I wanted to erase
This day, perhaps it's why it doesn't feel right
This reel ,broken, and squeaking

Why is it that my tears overflow when I couldn't put a finger
On the woe ?


What did I forget to remember ?


Whatever it is that put a crack in my chest
Right here in this sealed car
On the same hour
On the same day
In the same corner
I couldn't tell

What is it that I refused to remember ?

But my body still did ?

Trembled with rage, at my failed retention
Shrunk in cut pride
What a disgrace, my inattention

Why do these tears burn hotter than those of heartbreak

I still remembered heartbreak

And of this novel affliction I recall none

The body remembers the pain, strangely, doesn't it
The body remembers the strain on its bones
When this weight decides to roost
The body still remembers and all your limbs whisper in one breath
When you try to gather your parts
Hug your shivering arms and tighten your insides
As you dart away from a bullying reminder

"You
Don't get to walk away
From this."

How did my body still mourn you
When my heart learnt how to live
Without the memory of you ?


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