The Sun And The Shadow
"Typical nerd" , is what I thought the first time i saw you from afar. Messy, quiet, plain-looking, good with studies, timid. There was always one like that in every classroom, i guess..
I think i approached you because i've always been friends with outcasts ever since grade school, not only because I was one myself ,but also because, according to my (let me call it ) experience, delinquents - social pariahs in short, usually turn out to be very interesting when you get to know them....
Plus they are the only type of people that tell you the truth to your face and yet ,as opposed to several people that appreciate honesty in my immediate surroundings, they actually don't get offended when you do the same.
I like that...it puts me at ease..I really think that outcasts are outcasts just because they are honest...
for ,you see, the majority of people don't like the straight-forward, blunt ,almost rude lot that they venture to circle them ,like ants circle the mischievous one ,and then kill them metaphorically by branding them with nicknames they think are demeaning....."nerds", "dorks".. "geeks"
"Nobodies"
It's a sick society we live in..
I have a thing for people with original (sometimes unpopular) perspectives, which they come at by following a logical and authentic process of thoughts, instead of just being mainstream because it's easier, like most of us do.
The mere fact that they think differently makes me want to approach them and observe how they go about things. Learning. It was always such an intriguing activity to try and figure people out, to explore every Pandora box that i find in every stranger i meet.
It's because i feel suffocated every day when i have so much to say, so many points to argue about and so many random ideas that pop up in my head, yet i have no one in my age-range that was equally clueless and curious to learn and discuss and argue and disagree.
Older people usually know the answers to many questions so they usually give advice right away instead of arguing their way through it.
But you get what I'm talking about....there is a limited number of people in this world that make me feel understood; one of them was my dad -my favorite debate partner to which i owe the development of my argumentative skills and bold curiosity...for my dear father never flinched when i bombarded him with the most outrageously irrelevant questions, he took great interest in how i came to ask them...and i think i got that trait from him. This bold curiosity about people and things.
You, though, were the first person of my age that I could talk to about puzzling life questions that made absolutely no sense to anyone else, and probably people thought we are crazy to discuss such topics at the lunch table.
The thing about you is that not only do you think like a scientist, but you also speak like one....which is why you don't get along with people your age, i believe ...therefore, you prefer to keep your brilliance capped under the hood of aloofness.
This is what attracted me to you...we were similar ...in a way. I just learnt to level my head and speech according to the person i'm dealing with..I wouldn't have survived otherwise.
I must tell you that there is no power on earth that would make me succumb to anyone that i deem my "peer"; that's just how i rolled. Although I don't like coming forward and demonstrating my opinion because it brings along major responsibilities, i get irritated when a "nobody" acts all high and mighty and starts giving me instructions on a matter i probably know more about. Or could learn more about in no time.
"The one that has the right to boss me around must know better", is what I always thought..But you, my friend, I would gladly work for you anytime, if you ever become my superior at work...you make me feel like helping you to shine and become something big, like helping a fully-developed butterfly coming out of a cocoon...I would actually feel accomplished if i helped you rise, because you are a person of a vision, "you are meant for great things", you are just too naive to try and listen to your inner "Ess Mussein !"..maybe because no one told you to listen to it like this old man did when i was young..
I chose to believe him and worked my way up to what I believe is greatness. It bums me that nobody seems to have told you that as a kid, that you wouldn't believe it now that you are old and capable.
Therefore here i am telling you :
You have so much to brag about, yet you don't. Your mind is a rare jewel ; it's not exactly a jewel in the mud , for the people who are meant to notice it did, in fact, appreciate your brains...professors noticed it, I noticed it, journal editors did. YOU didn't, alas.
Plus they are the only type of people that tell you the truth to your face and yet ,as opposed to several people that appreciate honesty in my immediate surroundings, they actually don't get offended when you do the same.
I like that...it puts me at ease..I really think that outcasts are outcasts just because they are honest...
for ,you see, the majority of people don't like the straight-forward, blunt ,almost rude lot that they venture to circle them ,like ants circle the mischievous one ,and then kill them metaphorically by branding them with nicknames they think are demeaning....."nerds", "dorks".. "geeks"
"Nobodies"
It's a sick society we live in..
I have a thing for people with original (sometimes unpopular) perspectives, which they come at by following a logical and authentic process of thoughts, instead of just being mainstream because it's easier, like most of us do.
The mere fact that they think differently makes me want to approach them and observe how they go about things. Learning. It was always such an intriguing activity to try and figure people out, to explore every Pandora box that i find in every stranger i meet.
It's because i feel suffocated every day when i have so much to say, so many points to argue about and so many random ideas that pop up in my head, yet i have no one in my age-range that was equally clueless and curious to learn and discuss and argue and disagree.
Older people usually know the answers to many questions so they usually give advice right away instead of arguing their way through it.
But you get what I'm talking about....there is a limited number of people in this world that make me feel understood; one of them was my dad -my favorite debate partner to which i owe the development of my argumentative skills and bold curiosity...for my dear father never flinched when i bombarded him with the most outrageously irrelevant questions, he took great interest in how i came to ask them...and i think i got that trait from him. This bold curiosity about people and things.
You, though, were the first person of my age that I could talk to about puzzling life questions that made absolutely no sense to anyone else, and probably people thought we are crazy to discuss such topics at the lunch table.
The thing about you is that not only do you think like a scientist, but you also speak like one....which is why you don't get along with people your age, i believe ...therefore, you prefer to keep your brilliance capped under the hood of aloofness.
This is what attracted me to you...we were similar ...in a way. I just learnt to level my head and speech according to the person i'm dealing with..I wouldn't have survived otherwise.
I must tell you that there is no power on earth that would make me succumb to anyone that i deem my "peer"; that's just how i rolled. Although I don't like coming forward and demonstrating my opinion because it brings along major responsibilities, i get irritated when a "nobody" acts all high and mighty and starts giving me instructions on a matter i probably know more about. Or could learn more about in no time.
"The one that has the right to boss me around must know better", is what I always thought..But you, my friend, I would gladly work for you anytime, if you ever become my superior at work...you make me feel like helping you to shine and become something big, like helping a fully-developed butterfly coming out of a cocoon...I would actually feel accomplished if i helped you rise, because you are a person of a vision, "you are meant for great things", you are just too naive to try and listen to your inner "Ess Mussein !"..maybe because no one told you to listen to it like this old man did when i was young..
I chose to believe him and worked my way up to what I believe is greatness. It bums me that nobody seems to have told you that as a kid, that you wouldn't believe it now that you are old and capable.
Therefore here i am telling you :
You have so much to brag about, yet you don't. Your mind is a rare jewel ; it's not exactly a jewel in the mud , for the people who are meant to notice it did, in fact, appreciate your brains...professors noticed it, I noticed it, journal editors did. YOU didn't, alas.
I was at some point positively mad at you, for having such low self-esteem that you would actually allow anyone to look down on you..And the way you would tell me that I'm "overrating you", and that you are not that wise ; that used to piss me off beyond limits.
You should know that i never "overrate" people at all ; in fact , not many people strike me as interesting even after years of interaction and probing as to want to stick around and voluntarily share with them my views of their characters; i don't give complements right and left...and i'm especially not the type of person that gives false compliments...never. Not me; I would rather stay quiet than deliberately lie to someone like that..therefore it pained that you didn't believe me when i told you how great you are, how great you could be.
I dedicated this letter to you because you taught me how to suppress my vanity for the right reasons
, because you were the first rival I didn't try, nay, didn't want, to overcome, and because you were my first peer role-model. We shall meet again, plenty a times, I promise, and I will tell you all of this when we do. I just had to leave this message here for myself.
I hope many a great things happen to you.
You should know that i never "overrate" people at all ; in fact , not many people strike me as interesting even after years of interaction and probing as to want to stick around and voluntarily share with them my views of their characters; i don't give complements right and left...and i'm especially not the type of person that gives false compliments...never. Not me; I would rather stay quiet than deliberately lie to someone like that..therefore it pained that you didn't believe me when i told you how great you are, how great you could be.
I dedicated this letter to you because you taught me how to suppress my vanity for the right reasons
, because you were the first rival I didn't try, nay, didn't want, to overcome, and because you were my first peer role-model. We shall meet again, plenty a times, I promise, and I will tell you all of this when we do. I just had to leave this message here for myself.
I hope many a great things happen to you.
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