الثلاثاء، 19 يوليو 2016

Paroxysm



I wanna write glorious poetry.

So I could live forever.

I'M SO TIRED AND SICK OF WRITING DOWN MY RANDOM THOUGHTS, THIS UTTER NONSENSE THAT NOBODY READS, SO FRIGGING TIRED OF BEING EMPTY FROM THE INSIDE, THIS SWITCH OFF STATE THAT'S BEEN TAKING TOO LONG, WITH ALL THESE WORDS BANGING IN MY HEAD, AND MY TONGUE BEING TIED UNLESS I'M TALKING TO MYSELF ON THE WAY HOME, OF THESE ECHOS IN MY HEART THAT I TRY TO MUFFLE WITH LOUD MUSIC, OF THIS HEAT THAT DIGS TRENCHES IN MY SKIN AND BURNS ACID IN MY LUNGS, OF NOT WANTING TO POST ANYTHING THAT HE WON'T BE READING ANYMORE, OF LISTENING TO THAT SONG ON A LOOP BECAUSE I'M AFRAID OF FORGETTING, OF EVERYONE TELLING ME TO GET MARRIED BY END OF YEAR BECAUSE WHY NOT, OF HAVING TO ERASE THE NOSES ON EVERY PORTRAIT I SKETCH AFTER I COME OUT OF A DOZE AND REALIZE THAT I CAN'T KICK A HABIT, OF TRYING TO SIMULTANEOUSLY ANSWER TO THE 3 MOST OBTUSE MEN THAT STEER MY LIFE TOWARDS A WALL OF CONSTANT DISAPPOINTMENT AND SELF LOATHING , OF BEING BROKE SPENDING MONEY ON EVERYONE BUT MYSELF, OF LISTENING TO KIDS ONE AFTER THE OTHER STANDING ON A STAGE WITH TWINKLING EYES GOING ON ABOUT THE LOVE OF THEIR LIFE THAT THEY ONLY TALK TO ON TWITTER , OF FICKLE-HEARTED CREATURES THINKING THAT AN UNANSWERED TEXT IS THE EPITOME OF HEARTBREAK IN THIS LIFE, OF PEOPLE GETTING BOMBED FOR NO REASON, OF MORONS GETTING RICH BECAUSE OF OTHER BORED MORONS, OF POLITICIANS REFUSING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT FAMINE EXISTS FOR THE SAME REASON OBESITY DOES, OF BEING DRAGGED OUT TO TEXT ON OUR PHONES WHILE SITTING AT ONE TABLE, OF RUNNING EVERYWHERE INTO THIS WRETCH THAT STILL REFUSES TO SPEAK TO ME 2 YEARS LATER, OF NOT BEING ABLE TO PUSH OUTTA MY MIND THE ONE PERSON THAT I EVER HATED WITH PASSION, OF HAVING TO TELL PEOPLE OVER AND OVER AND OVER TO FUCKING STOP MAKING LIFE MORE COMPLICATED THAN IT ALREADY IS AND JUST FUCKING TELL EACH OTHER HOW THEY TRULY FEEL BECAUSE LIFE IS REALLY JUST TOO FUCKING SHORT TO NOT LET YOUR HEART RUN LOOSE BECAUSE YOU ADORE YOUR BORING ZONE OF COMFORT. I'M EVEN MORE TIRED OF PEOPLE POKING ME OUT OF BOREDOM THEN RUNNING OFF TO PEER FROM AFAR WHEN I TURN THEIR WAY, OF SMALL TALKS THAT HAVE TO START WITH THE STATE OF THE WEATHER, OF PEOPLE PLAYING HARD TO LOVE REGARDLESS OF THEIR GENDER, OF EVERYONE WANTING TO TALK AND NOT WANTING TO LISTEN, OF WANTING TO HAVE AN OPINION AND DENYING EVERYONE ELSE THAT RIGHT, OF EVERYONE WANTING TO GET OFFENDED AT EVERYTHING OUT OF BOREDOM AND LACK OF TREASURED VALUES, OF WOULD'VE-BEEN DEEP CONVERSATIONS INTERRUPTED BECAUSE YOU REALIZE THAT NOBODY REALLY CARES AND EVERYTHING IS POINTLESS, OF MY HAIR CONSTANTLY FALLING EVERYWHERE, OF NOT LOSING WEIGHT DESPITE NOT EATING ANYTHING OTHER THAN MY OWN SOUL, OF GOING TO THE AIRPORT 10 TIMES A YEAR TO DROP OFF AND COLLECT PEOPLE AND NOT GETTING ON A PLANE MYSELF BECAUSE WHERE WOULD I GO ?

Where would I go


To escape this ?



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