I guess girls are so used to being two faced and manipulative to get to certain ends ,they find a person that doesn't give a single fuck to pretend that bad of a news.
Mans really said that I think and act like a guy because I explicitly cut ties with her friend lol I just don't get why one should avoid "looking bad" by steering clear from straight up confrontation. Confrontation isn't always bad.
Well, not fists and insults kinda confrontation : we are cultured species, after all; you can make a point straight without offending someone. Much.
I think if there is a certain kinda behavior that your friends engage in and affects your well being, contradicts with your lifestyle or ideals, something that you don't generally approve of and wish to divorce yourself from; you have a perfect right to reject what's imposed on you, or walk away when you can't.
And i got zero interest and energy to change someone, or what they do; and I don't think I have the right to school anyone in their mid twenties; so finna ghost ,m8.
Have a great life.
I didn't offend you explicitly, and never actually grabbed you by the shoulder and told you that you are too superficial and empty for me to associate with. My withdrawal from your life shouldn't be taken as a major offense. And your being so is not my issue.
Your evident displeasure doesn't stem from your downheartedness at being deserted by a beloved friend- let's cut the crap- as much as a How DARE She Hate Me kinda reaction to my "disapproval" of you, or your life, the way you do you.
The mere idea of you not being liked by somebody, no matter how uncool they may be to consider them a reference for your validation.
Here are some facts : Statistically speaking; it's impossible to get along with everyone you stumble upon. No matter how nice you really are; no matter how nice you think you are, no matter how nice you try to act. Giving them what they look for, telling them what they want to hear, doing everything in your power to make sure you earn their favor; the human nature is just innately disposed to shun what it perceives as a constant reminder of its shortcomings.
There are people that are legit gonna hate you for just being, I've seen it.
So why should anyone put themselves in a position where they have to strain themselves, mentally and emotionally, even physically, so as not to make someone feel bad, inferior, rejected, at their own expense?
Life is too short for that kinda shit fam.
Just walk away from trouble in flesh, what's bad for you, what makes you cringe. What kills your vibe uno. No need to force yourself into loving someone, even your life partner. No need for you to change your whole life just to feel accepted by someone. And the minute that you sense that it's becoming a pre requisite to change in order to be friends with a person; RUN.
Wallahi life is enough complicated as is.
And all this mess due to miscommunication and dishonesty is the most ridiculous kinda spice to add to that dish.
And for all I know ,conveying to a person, as politely as possible, by any means available -without even having to state it verbally, that you just don't dig them, no matter how offended it may make them feel- for they gon get offended anyway, is far less despicable than taking selfies with them at an outing then trash them when they leave first.
I don't get why.
You don't pay my wages ,m8.
Even if you did, my pride is just too damn expensive for you to buy. They know it at work; they knew it at college, and it's how I was raised; it has nothing to do with my family name :
"Take no bull from nobody; and watch as you get the respect that you deserve."
"Tell no lies to protect yourself, and put yourself in no position that will require you to do so."
I mean; if I don't suck up to the person that controls my residence visa and vocational future; what could you possibly have to offer in return for my acting as your chaperone?
You just talk about other people when you are not on your phone talking to other people while out with the ones that you call your friends. The ones that may need your attention and presence to cheer up and feel connected, the ones that count on you to speak truthfully, and to care without them begging for it.
There are very few friendships that I still maintain and appreciate as a 25 y/o, and they all have one common factor : Candidness.
We don't dress up to go to the fanciest place in town just to record a nice snap story "with the squad", when we don't even talk to the squad.
We take our cups of tea and drive to the far beach behind the bridge and just chill. And laugh, plenty. Sometimes we don't talk when our hearts are equally sunken, and we listen to old songs, or stare at the ocean, quietly. The presence of each is enough consolation, at this point in our lives.
Sometimes, it's just about the company, rather than the place. They don't matter, our ages, how we look, who we are, where we've been,
What we have done,
What we want to be, our tribes,our skin colors, our troubles, our dreams,
We just live the moment together, and that is all that matters.
Friends that forget their phones in the car when y'all out. Friends that come over to help you pack and send you off at the airport past 12 pm. Friends that accompany you to the hospital, actually take leave to visit you, give you a ride or a battery charge when ya stuck in the middle of nowhere. Friends that come over for a week when there is a death in the family.
Friends that could tell your mood on the phone and come knocking at your door. Friends that have the emergency copy of your keys and get calls from your parents when you are out of reach.
Friends that don't leave you on read because it makes them vibe important, friends that tell you when they are busy only to hit you up when they aren't.
Friends that know when it's okay to bring up something you told them, and when it becomes a taboo. Friends that you call for counsel when you have a fight with your lover, that you stand behind in your bridesmaid dress, and years later, you know you gonna bring over your kids to play with theirs.
Friends like fam.
You don't even have to try so hard to keep them, they finna stay.
And you will never compare to that, constantly talking about how miserable and boring your life is without a boyfriend, when you dumped 10 of them in the last year, being high maintenance on purpose, prying on everyone's troubles just to spell tea at outings, mysteriously being out of reach when someone needs you.
It's not about giving and receiving in return: at some point you just gotta ask yourself why are you friends with this person ?
What is the value of their friendship to you ? Emotionally.
Is it important to you to keep them in your life ?
Do you want them to be at your wedding ?
If you are dying tomorrow, would you remember them to call and bid your farewell ?
i'm not judging though, hey, do you. But there is nothing here for me to listen to, to get entertained by, learn from, nor relate to. We just don't vibe, with all due respect.
And it's not a "guys thing" to be a direct-you-get-what-you-bargain-for kinda person. Your thinking like that makes it sound like girls are supposed to be naturally sly and two faced.
Don't tell me how to behave. Don't make it sound like a personality disorder.
Girls are crazy man. I wish I could change my gender, if they all think like that.
I'm not gay though.
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