For a while, I've been off grid, locked doors and let drapes fall on my panes
Days and nights alternated on a Mobius strip, while I watched the
shadows stretch on the wall
Light through the cracks in my being
My regrets, I could never escape
I found solace in the curves of letters and the persisting stains of
charcoal
A companionship so bitter, frequent clicks of tongues and muffled sighs
The lines I've read, and the salt of the tears I've shed, the acrid
taste of unuttered farewells
The sweet stupor of consciousness and the comfortable vigil of oblivion
Twice a day when it strikes 11:11, I close my eyes and wish
That I never turn to someone else's ghost
I found distraction in endless road trips, I try to stay awake to my
best
By talking to my reflection on the visor, eyes only
Deafening beats in my ears that still can't stifle the echoes through my
chest
Kindred spirits with too many problems that make me ashamed to speak of
mine
Used to say that I'm fine, waving, because I'd write them away, my aches, while alone
And bare, back home
Yet I can't write like I used to; they just don't sound as sincere, my
lines
Perhaps, it's because you are not around to read them anymore
I'm too broke for the sport of balling, not that it was at all condoling
when I used to indulge
Folks think I'm rich when I'm dolling with my last dimes;
It's just that a living wretch would put it into better use
Since I started to live like I'm going to fade along with the sunrise
They all left while I was busy trying to live, you see, and I didn't get
to tell them
They all leave, one by one, and I keep not telling them all there is to
be told
They keep leaving and none of them did I ever get to hold , one last
time
Distance is a b*tch
I still send you messages on new year's; never stopped to wonder who
held unto your phone
If it was buried along in that chill ditch; buzzed and buzzed until it
sighed its last bar
If anyone would reply in jest, just to make my ruffled mind rest in
peace
When my heart is in many pieces
I realize ,in great distress that demise is inevitable
One could want to live and love like a hurricane against time, but we
are all going to fade
In the end
Only loved and cherished, after we have perished
And I have bled for many a night, my sorrows on these pages for you
All the words of tenderness that I've tucked under my tongue
When, alas ! our time , yours and mine, was slipping away
On here, this restlessness you stirred shall remain, an immortal
metaphor
But say, who will mourn me away in their poetry ,
after I have left ?
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