The Woman That Was Afraid

12.02.17

In cold nights she sleeps with her back facing the wall

She knew

The crawlers of the dark like to chew on tender marrows
And her bent spine 

The safe of her heaviness 

And mellow reveries 

Was her weakest post
"Tonight she lies tucked away in her own darkness

The longing she carries stained the bed

As the weight of her emptiness rested heavy 

On her chest

She's wide awake

Wet with longing

Capable of every thing but sleep"
Seems the lord of slumber has sent an apostle 

Rested by her head 

Made a nest of her pillow side

She never dared to look
Her moribund terrors were awaken

He said in a sneer 

"Surrender to my claws 

All it is that you fear."

"New ones awaken

Fear of what could happen
If she surrenders her fears, 

And more fear of what will happened

If she disobeys

"What prayer shall I recite now 

To get out of here? 

What will now become of me?"

She asked an earthquake of questions troubling her bed"

"I'm not afraid at all", 

She uttered

The owl started to pick on her ear 

Basely plucked a few strands of her hair 

She shrunk
"At the darkest hour", her words spilled like cold water 

"A whisperer calls when I'm about to fall
Tried to look in vain for the source 

Searched every nook in my brain 

Perhaps
It was a voice deep within my soul"
"I'm ready to die but death won't come

And life is here but I can't go

My soul is leg in, leg out
My breath isn't an exhale it's escaping my lungs

I'm wrapped in nothingness

I'm drunk on hollowness"
I'm afraid of things I can't name or touch.

Yet can't blame them for none of this chaos
Are they tremors of ecstasy or clutches of terror 

That shook the pillars of this feeble being 

Into an endless state of vigil
Is it the hunger for living 

Or the pine the resided within my core

 That calls in the still of the night 

Am I Afraid to die ?

Or am I still even more 

Afraid to live ?