Severance

I forgive all
I tell myself on breezy afternoons
And sometimes when i'm making jokes to myself and smiling like
A fool, I
Miss you, badly
Before I have to remind myself that you've had your chances
To earn your place on my list of concerns
I fail to remember that I'm ought to forget
More
Alas, I forget none
It's both my blight and boon
Please close the door on your way out, I
Don't wish to burn bridges, it's just
That the rustling of the hem of your absence brings gusts of winter
You decide to place yourself first but you turn to scoff and find
That no one is standing behind
You and the grunts of sordid realization muddles

With the ripples of higher questions on the merit of petty gestures 

And the brevity of existence
Bland Thursdays, nameless numbers
Truant mutuals, empty conversations with strangers
You wonder, as you wander
Is it you ? That drops folks like the dead skin of a boa
When it becomes more weight than glory
Is it they ?
Always too cruel
Forever unworthy
The secret agent of probable outcome shrugged his shoulders
And lit a pipe
Drew a long breath
I thought I needed to clad my heart in boulder, as I grew
Older
Seems that I need to learn the art of softness
All over again.