Have you ever been to a place and thought "I came here before, I know it. I can almost remember it",
when, in fact , It was the first time you went there ? Or have you looked at a stranger and swore that you knew them, even made conversation and became acquaintances, except that you didn't ?
Deja vu is a mysterious occurance indeed : Why would your subconscious mind pull such a prank on you, making you think, falsely, that you have already experienced a specific incident ?
Human mind has its methods of confusing memories and illusions and feelings and dreams; it all gets mixed up to the point where you can't even tell what's real anymore..But I can't help but think there is something gravely romantic about being attacked by deceptive pangs of nostalgia.
I was passing by this row of houses the other day while taking a stroll, all of them looking neat and new, with similar fronts, crammed together like they were trying to fend off cold, when i stopped...
what stopped me was one old house without a gate, which seemed abandoned and scheduled to be demolished.. I peered inside.. the yard was as empty and lifeless as a cemetery, there was a black wooden hedge covered with rampant, almost grey ivies which looked pretty out of place being the only remnants of life there ....and there was one tree at the corner, or rather, what was a tree.
I considered this tree for a long time..I didn't know why i was so absorbed in this whole scene that looked like it was projected from another dimension, frozen and forgotten by time..something about it attracted me, I just couldn't fathom it, or I couldn't remember what it was.
Could it be a memory ?
But it was the first time in my life that i saw a dead tree, so dead it was rather charred and almost crumbling.
Was it a feeling, then ?
I think it was, because feelings are not necessarily associated with previous experiences, they lay asleep withing us and decide to wake up at the most unexpected times. This is because unconsciously relate some scenes, colors, shades, smells,sounds, vibes with certain feelings.
Solitude .It finally hit me.
I remembered solitude.
I wanted to go up to that tree, hug it with all my might, whisper to it the most sincere words of consolation, and listen, hearken, concentrate all my senses to find the faintest traces of life , the weakest calls from the depth of its trunk, caress its wan branches ,trembling from breeze..I wanted to tell this poor creature that I know how it feels to wither out of loneliness.
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