الخميس، 10 سبتمبر 2015

Memento Mori

The whisperer in the still of the night
Caresses your temples and rests on your chest
Breathes into your lungs
With every inhale
And sniffs on the perfume of your soul
When you exhale

Tick Tock

I didn't die today

Am I gonna die in my sleep tonight ? I wonder
Wouldn't know; and it's not up to me
But dear God, just one more day is all I'm asking for
I'm gonna make amends; I'm gonna sin less, and dole more
Pay attention to what my angels scribble
And the advances of the devil I'll surely fend
Dear God,
If you took my life tonight
I don't know to which side my scale will recline
And i don't know if I'd ever leave, content
Knowing that I could've ,but couldn't
Carry out my lain designs
Dear God,  tomorrow
I shall live; I shall ride that carousel they built at the Marina
Tomorrow, I shall achieve, and will surely excel
Tomorrow; if only you spared me one more day
If you won't dispel my existence away

Because, dear God,

I don't want to die

And because in the flare of the sun i remember
The overwhelming darkness of the tomb
And Azrael crosses my mind when I talk about plans
Far off in the realm of the future
When I outrageously spend on myself
Or stuff another book I won't have the time to read into my shelf
Truth is, I'm afraid of death
We all are
And of the sins I don't know about
Even more of the ones I no longer pout
When I commit
I'm a shameless sinner, and yet, I want to see God
I want to see God, and yet I'm a shameless sinner
One that trembles in regret and outpours her untold prayers
Cries her eyeballs dry on Ramadan 27th
At how heavy her sack of guilt is
I'm a sinner
That begs for forgiveness but delves back to her state of stupor
When she folds her prayer rug

I look behind my shoulder while walking at night

Because death is creeping around stalking everyone
And we won't get away, you and I
If not today, it's tomorrow
Or the day after, 20 years from now
Or next week
So i walk faster while mumbling to myself
Prayers that I memorized with repetition and forgot their meaning

Don't lie
Miss your mother more often
Pray like it's your last day
Don't abscond from the eldritch beggars roaming at the parking lot
You actually like to be courted, don't you ?
Makes you so gassed
Pull in these dyed strands

Why were we placed on earth, pray tell ?
To roll the dice at the tables of drudgery
Or to steer clear from vice and debauchery
And devote our lives strictly to prayers and veneration
Because DUI of life is a clear way to hell ?
Perhaps To Live
Is a compromise between the two occupations
A journey on a balanced cord buoyed across the void
And death,
Is a traveling tremor that trails us all the way
To tumble us off before we reach the other shore
One cannot avoid this
There is nowhere to go
We can only crawl faster, clasp our hands and gnaw with our jaws
Before we are caught off by the gendarme
Of Vertigo

I know I've wasted enough time
Thinking that life is a SEGA game that is made to be finished
If you play by the rules, and make the right connections
And I flipped when things didn't go as planned
Left behind what hindered me, cut off all the strings attached so i wouldn't trip
And I would cross that finish line before the adapter blew
Yet , vehemently, I'm a sinner
That is fine
With finishing last

On the one race
That is ever worth winning

Though all I wanted was a few cheers upon raising that excellence shield
And to be remembered when my tomb was sealed
Because I'm afraid of fading away from your memories
And I need you to remember me when i'm gone

Promise you will remember me, so i won't cling to life so tight

I want my name to be brought up in ardent talks for years to come
And for you to tell apart my face while flipping the pages of recollection
Long after my bones have turned to dust and ashes
And my existence is perpetually gone

Tell me, sir, how to live without forgetting death ?
And how not to die from the inside when you are ablaze and alive ?



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