Reflections

//1

Fireworks are a piece of art
I thought, while watching the fiery darts ascending through the night
It builds up one's hopes, knowing that something is going to burst
In a ceremonious fashion 
Too far away to inflict harm, still surreal and powerful
Rivers of rainbows, flooding the safe abode of the stellar denizens
A pause of serenity
Silence expands its wings across the dome
Time reaches a still point
Before the next verse in this stanza in full bloom
It's not the booms, it's not the flickering lights
It's not the glint and the sparks as they ignite
It's the pithiness of it all
Their eventual dissipation, it's the reigning quietness beyond the blasts

The imminent reduction of everything sublime 

Into mere nothingness
Your past mistakes and troubles
Would crumble and fade like sodden rubble

One worry,
----------- Boom
One regret
----------- Boom
Another mistake
----------- Boom

Your thoughts waste away in beautiful explosions.



//2

Have always smiled at the naivety of the saying
"New year, new me"
Wish fate and people could change on command
How amusing, life would've been
But one doesn't take a conscious decision to change, see
We just do on the long run, sometimes we don't even notice
It's just another day gone, a mere instant is the difference
Between 11:59 pm and 12:01 am
One remains standing on the same spot
Probably held a rotting sigh from the year before
And let it out, too heavy to fade away
It lingers, seeps again into your lungs
Same faces around, same expressions, same wishes
Recycled indefinitely
The rhythm of your heartbeats still didn't change
Though you jumped through a calendar
The same dull sensation on a roller-coaster ride of endless rounds
Slowing down as it reaches the top, before
The inevitable fall
You pretend to be thrilled as you squall
But deep within you still know that 
Come tomorrow when the sun rises, you'll flip to another sheet
For fresher worries and fears
Different causes of laughter and tears
To scribble themselves down.

//3

I sat by the shore, as usual, though it was an unusually starless evening
A bit sinister when the moon and his harem take the night off
The sea is beautiful in its fury, there is no breakwater on this beach
Though warm it could thaw a writer's block
A spiteful drunkard knocking at the feet of the dock
I sat far away from its reach, figured its limits by now
Seems like i come here more often than i should
I hummed a song, and remembered a person residing beneath the soil

On this fine evening of December 31st
They used to smile when they listened to it
Bet they would've been smiling now 

It's finally raining, and life is good
Bet that's what they whispered along with their last breath
It was
Nice when they used to smile while breathing, though
These two called out from afar; said that i should see what they found
I wiped that one tear that trickled to the corner of my mouth
Ran out to them, barefoot, across the cold sand
Found a squid washed ashore, it seems,
Wriggled in pain as it spat out bits of its life
Perhaps it got fed up with the major bore that is Home
It wanted to run away


Wanting to live so bad could kill you, I thought.

//4

She said with a casual air that she asked a hex about my ways
I asked her why ,with a crooked smile, for we were closer than that
Forgot that I should be telling her it's frowned upon
She said, they summed it all in a brief line

I have "a heart of gold", she was told, but have "a short, short temper"

"How so bold, that hick doesn't even know me", I hastily defended
I fumed alright, because I couldn't explain
Even more because I shouldn't have felt the need to explain
That only God knows why I grew to be so 
Only God knows
The things that piled, weighing down on my pillars

Eventually falling

Only God knows
That I learnt to fortify my heart so thick, bullets of doubt
Wouldn't get through
And only God
Knows
What made me wash my hands of people so quick
It still rings though
I had a slight feeling that it was true, in a way
You could hate a stranger you have never met
Because they knew you only too well.

//5

We don't talk anymore
Figured it would be easier
Why bother talking someone into change
When you know you don't have the right to mold humans like pieces of pottery
Break and re-write their senseless shenanigans into rhythmic poetry
So it could appeal to your reason
I don't need to love you, and you probably can't reciprocate anyway
You don't need to understand, and I don't need to explain
I don't have to take mending things into my hands
As you don't need to bare your fangs every time I clicked my tongue

When words become so light, perhaps the graveness of silence
Could convey better what you both want to say

It's still curious, how folks go through all sorts of trouble
To join their hearts
Despite the disparities
When they could just walk away,

Say, how long does it take for acceptance to turn into tolerance ?



//6

As I reflect with bight on the things that I managed to cross out
From my so-called list of "Resolutions"
I realize
That I've regretfully become a person of few words and too impulsive an act
As well as a person with little patience, and frequent eruptions
Furnished with a tint of disturbing imbalance between a boorish candor and a polished tact
Depending on the mettle condition
Though my aim was only to become stronger, as loaded that word is
Stronger, and so in peace with my flaws enough to love people
Without relying on their love

Strange, how your resolutions could lack resolution 

When did I change so much? I wonder

When being soft and patient were my prime qualities
Perhaps
My trademark forbearance I stored in a torn sack
One that I , relentlessly, carried around on my back
No matter how sore
And the more I walked, through the years

The less I got to give 

Like water seeping through the cracks of a boulder
It seems patience runs out
The older
One gets.



//7

I can sense your quelled unrest
Drums in your chest

But I pretend not to notice

And I very well can imagine how this must feel
Yet I still don't extend my hand to pat on your shoulder
Held upright as you heave under the weight of defeat
As well as I know that my closeness to you adds to your misery

But I nevertheless refuse to walk away

I revel in your pain, and I say it without a spec of shame

Like the habitual knave that I am
My kindest boon
Because, as I look into your eyes
I could recognize the familiar face of bitterness
And as I listen to your voice, I could spot the blemish in its tone
Before breaking to a lower octave
It's not at all on account of meanness
You should just learn the hard way, like all of us did
Not to make
The dire mistake

Of loving the wrong person

Thursday ,31/12/2015
12:34 am, Ras Al Khaima, United Arab Emirates

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