A Graceful Song Of Reproach
15.02.16 - 5:26 pmYou never broke me,
You broke a conviction of mine that was once rooted so deep
A mere idea, and these are no flesh and bones. Rakishly expendable, as you well know
Or so I believe
That's probably the case; since I'm not certain that I was affected at all
I examined many a broken hearts in my time I could tell one apart, and this, my good sir; is beyond the limits of my dexterity
It doesn't hurt
It doesn't keep me awake at night
You seldom cross my mind, recently
And when you do, you don't come dressed in loathsomeness
That's one thing of which I'm certain, and which is incidentally a source of great confusion to me
I don't hate you
See, in such situations, the one walked away from is always left with the greater chunk of bitterness, feelings of profound loss; things left unsaid, much like a thriller novelette with the last page
Ripped off
Replacing devastation with resentfulness makes bearing with it so much easier. Because throwing the heaviness of it on someone else's shoulder
Is more convenient, and far less painful, than growing bolder
In my case I certainly hope that the only damage you've done is clogging my well of poetic exclamations; though the impairment is severe as it is
Nothing
I write
Sounds as sincere, so full of life and rupture, ecstasy and innocent hopes of a bright future, as before
I lost my taste
My prowess to align words like a medley of Tulip on a plain field, grazed and bashful, hazed and graceful
And I'm pretty sure it is your fault though I'd very much like to believe that it was time I grew out of being lulled and rocked by warm embraces of bent letters and swayed metaphors; the time I learnt that the world is bigger than a love story
Gone awry
I just can't put my finger on what you broke exactly; everything seems so fragile and yet nothing seems to yield
I think I'm fine; for I'm not bleeding
I was just shot back, so ruthlessly
Right in the heart from the dreadful depths of punitive rejection
It's the same way you'd feel while chasing the cape of a dream you don't dare to catch, you know you want to take hold of its wrists, but the thought of unveiling its face is way
Beyond
The horror
You know
So you stop in tracks and let it go
And go it did
Right through the pine forest and a curtain of a fog so thick
Leaving trails of poignant dread on the pavements of your ribs
You could find the answer to your pine if you flick in haste; but the droplets of vigor seeping through your skin
Seem to evaporate and fade so readily
Mix with the stifling air, gravid with bitter sighs, and the morbid regrets
Of the bereft, and those left behind
Somehow,
It's so peaceful as I stride now. law and order seem to have prevailed within
I still wonder how I never shed a tear. And I
Still shudder at the thought that you might have killed me
From the inside.
--------------
15.02.16 - 11:16 pm
There is no consolation in knowing that you are still holding unto that dangling thread of hope; Though I'm glad it all meant something to at least one of us at some point.
"Too Bad" sums up everything I wanted to say as I read these 3 letters you sent on the same day
At the same hour of Feb 15th, 2015.
Before I remembered that it's really all so meaningless
Just the same.
That door is bolted shut now. You locked it yourself,
And slid the keys from beneath
Went away exploring and came back presenting a whip with
A bowed head
Begging for absolution
And I
Contained in my tower, sipping tea with my indignant revulsion
Having lost interest in seeing the light
Am flirting with the thought of lashing you
For the fun of it.
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