The Bolter

I run away from you

I run away towards you, and somewhere along the mobius track

The difference doesn't matter

Pursuing your back, I sprint
Trying not to plunge into my own shadow, I lighten my steps
At tricky corners
And I squint to see beyond the smoke and the haze
You are ahead in the chase, never looking behind

Your traces in the air, they never bide

Only my anxieties are running to my side, relentless
My faithful companion

I yearn for you

I yearn for you yet I'm wary of your closeness
I stop in motion, petrified, looking airy while terrified
Of many things I can't explain
Of this darkness I'm told it has left my gist
When it audibly wriggles in the calm of the night
How I refrain from revealing my heart
Still lawful and deft
Or escape the kettle when I'm revealed as a brittle

And all my life, I've been running away

From everything
Towards something
From myself
To the arms of someone
This dire affliction
The growing seed of affection
What hides in the blind spot to my right
As I scan my left in alarm

What clots in my veins as I scour my might
A memory, a dream

A past, a future
An unbearable present
The edge of a cape, the invisible route to escape 
A lifelong pursuit of a comfort denied
An endless flight from the rumble of the day
And the terrors of the night
Wasn't so bad
Until I realized
Our time is the fastest sprinter, isn't it ?
Already waiting at the line, with a wry smile

Say, why did you knock my doors if you were planning to run for it ?