Today I was seized by a MAJOR panic attack at work.
I was asked about my plans for my birthday, and I realized that I don't even remember how old I am (typical).
Turns out I'll be 26.
Twenty years and six.
I'm as old as Hajime No Ippo. No shit.
Oh my God, I haven't achieved anything major in my life yet. I'm still a social mess. I'm still immature when it comes human bonding. My time management is a joke. I can't cook for shit. I forget things and dates. I forget people. I haven't published my book yet. My account balance is 0.00 (the decimal zeros for a stronger impact, wild move, NBAD). I still haven't found the one (though allegedly he found me). I still didn't finish grad school. I still didn't find a job in my field. Soon I'll start to see white hairs and my bones will ache when I exercise too much. Soon the effects of my bad habits during my teens will show on my face and body. My hair will start to thin, my teeth will start to decay, by breasts will sag and my belly will give up.
I'm gonna have to settle for any man just to be able to bear kids and check that box on my list.
Oh my God.
I need a triple shot of Mocha and somebody lend me their shoulder. Ugh I was caught off guard on this fine Sunday morning and didn't expect my life to weigh this much on me.
Smfh why did you have to remind me of how big of a failure I am ?
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