A Benediction

I'm sorry if you stumbled upon this by chance one day, but I shan't erase it
Because every bit of it stems from a genuine place, and i can't hide this part of me
From you

We sit, awkwardly, at the edge of our nuptial bed on our wedding night
This chamber is perfumed with fresh blessings and faint traces of Surrateya
I wiped my make up, and you took off your glasses

Ours is a typical story, you tell your mamma that you have grown too old to crash on her lap

So she declares that it's time to find you a mate; and she's got just the right maiden
Her younger duplicate; you see, pretty; with a touch of grace
Picks the right customary phrase while greeting the aunties
Makes all the witty remarks, and serves the best tea

She points her out to her son on a wedding tape

And moves on to enquire and charm the girl's mom

Arab mothers are so quick at arranging things, while men only sit to talk roots and figures
Is his blood pure? Are his roots obscure?
How much can he pay ? Does he regularly pray?
And the little princess classically peers behind a cracked door
Trying to steal a glance of the knight with the lance that has come to snatch her away

Her dad he says she will be conferred with, but he knows his daughter obeys his command
And she knows her daddy knows best, of course, but ,see, her daddy doesn't know her at all
"We shouldn't stall the gentleman long", he says
"We only wish to see you in a happy nest", her mother throws
What's new ? there is no apparent fault with the boy, that's of course beyond the ones
She could teach herself to love and the few she could try to change when push comes to shove
She said yes, still wondering what the fuss was all about

Her past joys, her graduation, finding a job, such cleared stages called for as big a celebration

As if becoming someone's wife outweighed her entire life

They must be talking about the wedding part of marriage
The glittering armor of gold, and the white celestial dress
Makes you wonder if that's the only reason girls ever say yes
And she said yes, true, but under her breath she would vaguely whisper
I could take on a storm, but I wouldn't handle the quiet reign of uncertainty

What if our celebrated togetherness brought the worst in each ?

What if we crumbled beneath the weight of passive repulsion
What if he gives up trying ? What if he blows out the candle on his own ?

What if he finds it easier to walk away ? What if it turns out less painful to be alone ?

It should be easy, they said : We bury our seed in a haven of trust
I could be the rain drops and you could be the rays
And I'm to try my best to cater for your needs and gratify your lust

But I, as you place my shivering hands in yours, and I look into your eyes
I know in my bones that turmoil will rise and swell from the friction of our grits
And the belly of this grave silence bears the child of our fate

What are you thinking about, right now, Vulcan ?