Mother

Ever since i was little i would wonder
What makes mothers so warm
And vast
I mean, I could bury my head in mother's chest and live there
Revel in the warmth and safeness as she brushes my hair
And her calm heartbeats a tender lullaby to my senses
I used to ponder; will I ever grow up to be someone's home
Like mother's embrace was my universe?
Would I ever master the craft of healing ?
Hear the muffled breezes of ache in someone's voice
As loud and crisp as if it was whispered through my ears
Would I ever be able to stand against time refusing to kneel
When my precious is shivering in fear behind me
Would I ever bear and give birth to little angels
That I'd love to infinity, beyond the sun and stars
That i'd raise on strength and affinity
That would leave when their spines harden enough
To steer the ploughs of their own lives
To fall and rise
Tread on, by grit or surmise
Accept with dignity, and give
Love and forgive
Then come back to me when the sun sits on their youth
To rest their heads on my lap
Lay their hearts in my hand
And their foolish botches at my feet
So i'd stroke their bald blotches, and trace the wrinkles
That life inflicted on their brows
Hidden to the world, blind and heedless to their existence
But visibly protrusive to my eyes alone

Would my children wish they would rather die before me 
So they don't die along 
When I leave them behind ?