الاثنين، 7 مارس 2016

On Human Relations

I could never understand why would anyone try to pretend that they are cool with someone they hate with passion.
It's beyond my grasp.
Isn't life too short to exert oneself so much just for appearances' sake ? down with appearances if it makes you feel like a despicable fool, forced to withstand the presence of anyone despite your hate.
I may not be aggressive enough to state it verbally, but I'm pretty sure my face is candid enough.

"Look, mate, I'm only being civil"

I don't loathe people that easily anyway, therefore if things reached this point,chances are that they are rogues hated by many. Not that I need a justification for not liking a person. It could happen naturally.

My father once told me that human relations aren't black and white. And this way of thinking is quite childish and could get me into real trouble in the "real world" where being honest is a weakness. People plot in the shadows, and publicly announcing your enmity is stupid because it steals away the element of surprise, is what I understood.

I'm pretty aware that my "transparency" has made me a few enemies over my short life already; but these are the kinda people that would hate on you for simply being and that's why they didn't matter, I thought. One or two mishaps at work taught me to be more selective of my words, and it's true that my position was threatened many a times because I didn't suck up to a few seniors. That was a great lesson on growing up; but I'm glad I got away without having to compromise my integrity.

But when it comes to my peers; I sustained no great damage; and I know that I've made a few good friends in contrast. I'd like to think that I could pull off being an honest person without regretting much. My life philosophy is basically laying it all out there, and waiting for people to understand and appreciate my directness.

And it actually worked ; I got to know one of these girls that is as chill and indifferent as a child. She's not popular, but I like her very much nevertheless. Indeed we became friends almost immediately after the first conversation because she's the kind  of direct person that is so rare to find these days; seldom do you meet a person that doesn't really care about the impression they make. Well, I mean as long as they are fine with they way they lead their life..

I dig that.

For years I've been trying to be myself without the pressure of conforming to a certain template just to get along with everybody else. I almost thought that I needed to change every aspect of my personality to match the standards of the common cool Arab girl in her mid twenties. But after... a while you realize that those who try so hard to look perfect in everyone else's eyes are in reality so empty, and so lonely. And it's really an impossible feat, for people will always try to find new things to point fingers at, until you reach a point where it simply becomes impossible to mutate any more.

And I can handle being lonely, but at least I'd rather my own company ain't boring, and for that I need to know myself very well.

This girl, has taught me to be myself, and be truthful to it, with such style and confidence.. It's really an inspiring example.


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