12: 00 am
I ran away from you because you remind me of how much I've changed.
I don't hate the person I've become, I don't know if I should, humans are a product of their experiences, they grow and evolve, and change is a natural process.
But if you always accept and love yourself for "who you are" no matter how far you stray from the path you thought you will follow for the rest of your life,
constantly adjusting your lain route to match your capricious strolls on dormant landmines,
Then how do you know when to stop ?
How do you know that you walked too far ?
How do you know that the person you've become isn't the person that you swore you'll never be ?
You remind me of who I was, and it makes me remember how much I've changed in the last 7 years, that I have no feelings at all for the young me, no sympathy, no admiration, no revulsion, no love in particular, no appreciation for the experiences and bonds I've created then.
I just love my current self because it's the one self that I have to deal with right now.
i only give it healthy doses of love that guarantee its survival, I got way too much on my plate to torment myself by self-hate; it's the way of goners, self-laceration. It killed Schimkov.
I know how much I struggle, and I deserve at least this acceptance.
That isn't wrong. I know it.
I'm still trying to figure myself out.
I'm still working on my connection to God.
I'm still trying to separate my motifs from my convictions
I'm still sorting out the bonds that are worth keeping from the ones that are keeping me back.
It must be nice, having your life figured out for you, isn't it ?
You are one of these friends that belong to an era; a stage of one's life, and it messes things up when you try to reach out for a person that no longer resembles the one you used to know.
You don't wanna do this.
12: 16 am
I think this is very healthy,
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