Slurpees

09.01.2019

And I followed the stranger in white rags
To the gateway of the dark place, he had
Disappeared into an ocean of faces by
The time I gathered my
Scattered thoughts and tied my laces
He must be living
Inside
That grand castle of loneliness stuck out
Like a grave in
A flower garden
I stood motionless, fist clinched,
Fingers hardened
On the last bit of disquiet he
Didn't need, lord of the flies
Open the door, please
Let me in, please
I'm not one with this savage world
I've cut all my ties with the past
I saw you, a living ghost, that didn't
Care, I saw you, when no one
Else dared look your way,
Take these tokens of short-lived pity, please
I'm also a stranger, my fingers hurt
It's cold out here
It's too heavy to drag this and walk away
I just want to talk, you
Know how to drift through
This mess without stumbling on
Shreds, you must know how to fix
Things without hurting
Yourself,
Don't you ?
Don't you, Achiless ?

أغنية السقوط

لم لا نكتب أغنيات المجد عن 

الجبناء ؟
عن رماة الراية في منتصف الطريق
عن الزاهدين في لذة الوصول 

عن باهتي العينين ،عن تشابه الفصول
عن المترنحين ساعة العزم، هذه أنشودتي 

كتبتها بعد محاولات للنهوض كثيرة

ساقاي تشكيان و هي كسيرة

 أناظر الصحب يتوارون بدخان المسيرة

ألا يتعب الإنسان من الصمود ؟

ألا يكل متن المرء بعد بضع محاولات للنهوض ؟

ألا يهن العظم بعد العثرة الأولى ، و يصبح الربوض
 

غاية الكادح في أوج عناءه
 

هل من خزي في احتضان الهزيمة

و التمرغ في عبير الخيبة 

النظر الى السماء من مرقد العجز

تداخل الأصوات و همسات الغرباء، رائحة الشتاء


بعض الهزائم

تغلب أقوى العزائم.

Charlatan

You can't capture me
You can't trick me
You can't fracture me
You can't wreck me
I emerge from the shadows
Wearing a mask
I flirt with the sun and
In its reign I bask
I'm a renegade : a river
Grown fish,
Sliding up the
Waterfall towards
The sea
My truths are laced with lies
You can't read my eyes
Every nonchalant confession
Is a wish.

The Night Was Ours

"The night is ours."

Yes, I missed you, so much I woke up
With a pang of pain in my side, felt
Like watching the roses I got for my
Birthday quietly wither by the window side

I must have smothered them with water.

It is snowing outside and I'm yet again
Thinking of a man I used to know in a
City where I don't know anyone.

Are you, perhaps, thinking of me, at this hour
On a different cloud in this realm of somnolent
Wakefulness ?

I want to rewind to the moment we
Were just starting to take off each
Other's masks and we were too caught
Up in our hopefulness that we thought
We could handle the ugly underneath.

You thought you could contain me,
Drop after drop through the cracks
In the ceiling
Drop after drop I filled you up to
The brim and
Smothered you too,
Perhaps water is meant to flow and
Never to be kept.
When I turned my back on you, the
Flowers in my chest were dead
Long ago
Your last call was a knock on my door
Your apology was a tactful farewell
Carefully brushed, powdered
Lead on its eyes
Lowered down to the depths, slowly
Your apology didn't have much time
To lay out the words,
It was packing when it passed away.

Why are you like that ?

All I wanted was to have the night
For ourselves, whispering away our
Mutual loneliness, you shouldn't have
Stayed so still, letting me gather myself
Within you, until
You couldn't breath anymore,
You shouldn't have stood watching, as
This mess was too beautiful to untangle
You shouldn't be unmasking people, if you
Are going to run away from
The truth,

You fool, let me go
This is my last flower,
From me to you.

Firefly

20.12.18


What is it called when
Someone fits in the spaces
Between your thoughts the
Way cement holds all the blocks
Together as it sits in
Between ?
Perhaps I was chasing after the sitting sun
With all its blinding glory
When the moon shined so kindly upon my face
Perhaps the key was never in finding
A person that mirrors your every flaw
If feels like sipping on poetry until
It flows and suffocates you
Bane if you jump, bane if you stood
Watching.
We are nothing alike except that
Deep down we were both made of equal parts
Phoenix bones and mush
Someone liked to call this the law of attraction but
I'm a man of science and these are too casuistic for me to count on
I never know how well you adapt yourself to my absence I just love
How the songs I send you blend in with your playlist
When we cruise

Quietness

Reigned over my world, brand new like a child's perception
My love, I'm not the type that
Declares their weaknesses, but
When you said that you wished to miss your flight
God knows I felt it in my bones
How much I missed you already
How wrong yet right it all felt, how reckless and
Natural it all seemed
I miss you still, And it scares me
That I woke up with this tingling need
Like a disease from the dark ages, strange
How I forget all this noise when I'm
With you,
I understand why they wrote that
Love could kill you
Why the firefly hurries to its grand
Death with
Such joy.

Bamboo

Do not try to bend me
To your will,
I only bow to
Lashe back,
I'm a bamboo palm, sad, still
While dancing
Empty and still from
The inside, chancing on
Moments of wake and echoing
Laughter of the soul,
Prone to breaking half way as
I sway to the rhythm of folk
Blues.

00100000

I pine for who i was a
Year ago
Numb, in the wake of my new
Discovery of the non
Permanence of things.
Loss crept like a serpent in the
Grass, as I sat considering the
Lillies in the field, at peace
Post the turbulence of
Realization.
You say I'm your Muse, but I
Don't think you quite understand
That what I am is a cluster of
Denial and vanity.
If you could only walk a few steps
In my shoes, you would know that
All my great feats were distractions
Gone too far,
And my less articulate thoughts are
More disturbing than fascinating:
Do not ask me what I'm thinking.
Truly,
I
Don't know who i am
Anymore, I yell more than I
Weep, sometimes i can't stop.
And losing my rhythm, on top, is
More than i can bear to lose in
One sweep, but there is a slight
Sweetness in punching at a wall
That won't budge;
The sound of one's own knuckles cracking
Was the first poem.
Words out of Help books have
Kept this Jenga tower of epiphanies
Tall, but I've used them
All, trying to be a motherly figure to
You and a lover to myself.
And one of my ribs was
Stolen the last time i tried
To be brave and spoke what I
Truly wanted, now I hear the wind
Howling through my chest every
Time i take a deep breath before
Having to call you.
Hey,
On the nights we don't talk I
Spend my wakeful hours teaching
Myself how to get
Over you.
By now i could do it on command ;
Detachment is my sleeping pill.
I hold nothing dear and no one,
You are another distraction, one
That is bold and persistent and i
Can't wait to lose you already
Because I'm tired of dreading it.
And i realized in my daze that
Getting over loss never made
Me stronger it just made me
More numb and now
That I'm numb no longer,
I have clutched at
Emptiness by the throat
It does not resist, it does not
Scratch, it does not
Scream, it just stares
Me in the eyes and I, for
The first time, am
Afraid of loneliness.